I make up for it with cunning and guile.

I like cherry wood, argyle socks, and the language of Spanish. I dislike small dogs, most, but not all, Will Ferrell movies, and the feeling of velvet.

In another life I would like to come back as Allison Janney.

My mom is so cool.

After I broke up with my ex, he told me he never wanted to speak to me again. A request I have honoured for the last 9 months. Despite this he continues to send me messages and call me out of the blue for the purpose of telling me he (still) never wants to speak to me again. These messages range from funny, to annoying, and lately just plain sad. His most recent episode turned nasty and offensive, and I called my mom to complain about it.

To which she responded “This is just the last straw. If he contacts you ONE more time, I’m going to have to do the unthinkable…I will call his mother.”

She then went on to act out this conversation, including telling the mother-of-the-ex that we’d be pressing charges and recommending that he seek immediate psychiatric help.